Reminder

Dear Writers, Please be reminded our October meeting is the second Saturday this month.

October 13, 10 am - noon

In the Barn at

Cornerstone Christian Church, Wyckoff

We welcome seasoned writers and novices.

Be prepared to share your current writing goals, hopes or projects 

and participate in a writing exercise. 

If you attended September's workshop,

 we would love to hear one bit of inspiration you took away.

Members, we welcome your pages for critique. 

Workshop: September Focus Point

Where did that idea come from... and where will it go?

You know what it’s like—a thought takes hold. Sometimes an idea pops into your mind, other times it takes shape slowly, and sometimes it branches off something you heard or read. Some are viable, some are crazy, some are impossible. And sometimes it’s hard to determine if it’s a good idea or a God idea.

Each one of us is made in the image of God. We’ve been made in His likeness, created to rule. We know this from Genesis 1:26 when God said,

"Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground."

We were not created like the earth which, once set in motion, still rotates on its axis and orbits the sun. We were not created like vegetation that replenishes itself without care, or like the sun, moon and stars that thoughtlessly light our world. We were not even created like the animals, that reproduce and survive by instinct. We were created like God—image reflectors of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit—to feel, act and create like Him.

We know from John 1:3, that all things were made through God and nothing was made without Him. To me, this speaks of all that has been created from the beginning and of every creative endeavor since then.

A clear example of this was in the building of the tabernacle. Exodus 35 tells of those who were filled “with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability and knowledge in all kinds of crafts—to make artistic designs.” We read that God “filled them with skill to do all kinds of work as craftsmen.”

This is why we’re here today—we are filled with God’s Spirit, with skill, ability and knowledge to fulfill His calling to create with words.

John Piper wrote,If you are God, your work is to create out of nothing. If you are not God, but like God—that is, if you are human—your work is to take what God has made and shape it and use it to make him look great. (Don't Waste Your Life, p.139)

My hope for today is that each of us will find fresh ways to make God look great. That we will be inspired to consider different genres, explore new venues, respond to creative urges, develop dormant dreams, and be receptive to new ideas.

And in our heart of hearts, we want to get our ideas out there. We're not content to let them be ours alone, but want to share them. We want to impact our world.

So... what do you do with your ideas?

Please, don't dismiss them! Think outside your box. Capture your ideas—make a list. Over time you’ll dismiss many, but there may be one—or a few—that will develop wings and take flight. Your idea may grow into a beautiful endeavor that reflects the heart of our Creator.

Image credit: abcoach.es

Reminder

Our October meeting is the second Saturday, 10/13/18.

Final Reminder - Register for Sept 8 Writers Workshop

FINAL REMINDER!! 

Please register asap if you have not already done so

You can register online at: bit.ly/NJCWG

~ OR ~

Print this flyer and complete the bottom as indicated.

Please share with any writer you think might be interested. 

Many thanks to those of you who have already registered! 

We're looking forward to a great day. 

 

WRITERS WORKSHOP - Sept. 8 meeting

REMINDER!! 

Please Register asap if you have not already done so

You can register online at: bit.ly/NJCWG

~ OR ~

Print this flyer and complete the bottom as indicated. 

WRITER WORKSHOP - Sat. Sept. 8

Join us this Saturday

August 4, 10 am - noon

Cornerstone Christian Church,

in the Barn

At this informal summer meeting we will discuss any writing challenges, 

topics or questions you bring. As usual, there will be time for critiques. 

Are you joining us this Saturday?

We will have an informal meeting this Saturday, 

July 14, from 10-noon, 

upstairs in the Barn at Cornerstone Christian Church. 

Since this is our first attempt to meet during the summer, 

please RSVP at bhigby9323@gmail.com by Wednesday 

to let me know if you will or will not be attending. 

Come with your writing quandaries or questions. 

As usual, we will leave time for critiques. 

Our next meeting will be 8/4. 

Please note that the first two fall meetings will be on second Saturdays:

September 8 & October 13

Yes, we're meeting over the summer!

Summer meetings

July 14 (upstairs) 

August 4 (regular room)

These informal meetings will be opportunities for encouragement and to discuss personal questions or concerns. There will no Focus Point or planned exercises but critique pieces are welcome. Regular members, please contact Barbara (bhigby9323@gmail.com) with your intentions. If we do not have a number of attendees and decide to cancel, we want to notify members who travel a distance. Also give me a heads up about questions or topics you want to discuss. The Focus Point from our June meeting is below.

Focus Point

Our Story

When E. B. White was 48 years old, he wrote, 

“I’m glad to report that even now, at this late day, a blank sheet of paper holds the greatest excitement there is for me—more promising than a silver cloud, prettier than a little red wagon. It holds all the hope there is, all fears. I can remember, really quite distinctly, looking a sheet of paper square in the eyes when I was seven or eight years old and thinking, ‘This is where I belong, this is it.’” Letter to Stanley Hart White, January 1947 

I can’t say I’ve ever thrilled over a blank sheet of paper (or a blank screen), but I love E.B. White’s sense of anticipation and his awareness of limitless possibilities. Our joy in writing should not falter under the shadow of staleness, the pressure of a deadline, or a feeling of obligation. 

As a Christian writer, my thrill is to be a blank sheet of paper. I love the joy of Creator God writing my story and using me to write His. I delight in discovering a creative thought, a twist of words, the perfect analogy, an original description, or inspired theme. 

As the bride spoke of the bridegroom in Song of Solomon (2:16), let us say, “I am His.” What will God write in us? What will He inspire us to write? Let’s rekindle the joy of our gift. As we share summer writing goals, let’s remain as a blank sheet, ready to receive from the Author of our faith. 

 
Take home thought: Lord, I am yours. As the author of my story, use me to write your story.

Writing Contests - 2018

From Reedsy, 

here is a curated list of writing contests for this year. 

Good luck! 

https://blog.reedsy.com/writing-contests/

Story Callout

Chicken Soup for the Soul: Life Lessons from the Cat

101 Stories about Our Feline Friends and What Matters Most

Chicken Soup for the Soul: Life Lessons from the Dog

101 Stories about Our Canine Companions and What Matters Most

We are making two books, but since they are similar in tone, 

we are describing them both to you in this one e-mail.

Chicken Soup for the Soul: Life Lessons from the Cat and Chicken Soup for the Soul: Life Lessons from the Dog will be both entertaining and heartwarming.

Our dog and cat titles are so very popular, and you have so many great stories to share with us, that we do new pet titles every eighteen months or so. Here is another chance for you to share a story or two about the member of your family who just happens to walk on four feet!

We are looking for first-person true stories and poems up to 1200 words. Tell us what your pet taught you. How he made you smile. How she "rescued" you after you "rescued" her. How she brought your family closer together, helped you find love, inspired you to change something in your human life. Stories can be serious or humorous, or both. We can't wait to read all the heartwarming, inspirational, and hysterical stories you have about your dogs or cats and what you learned from them!

Here are some suggested topics:

  • Who rescued who?
  • Who trained who?
  • Do you sometimes think your dog or cat is human?
  • Insights from your dog/cat
  • Empathy from your cat/dog
  • Compassion from your dog/cat
  • How my cat/dog picked me
  • My dog/cat can almost talk
  • My therapy cat/dog
  • My cat/dog makes me laugh
  • My dog/cat understands
  • How my cat/dog changed my family
  • How my cat/dog changed my life
  • My dog/cat's interaction with other animals
  • From puppies to senior dogs, milestones, end of life
  • From kittens to senior cats, milestones, end of life
  • Your work at a shelter or rescue organization
  • Children and dogs/cats
  • Your dog/cat and holidays
  • Your dog/cat overcoming hardship, getting lost and coming home, being injured and recovering

When you go to our website to submit your story or poem, please be sure to select either the Life Lessons from the Dog title or the Life Lessons from the Cat title we have posted on the pull-down menu to be sure your story or poem gets to the correct place. Thank you!

All stories and poems need to be true — we do not publish fiction. Stories should be no longer than 1,200 words. If your story was already published in a past Chicken Soup for the Soul book, please do not submit it. We will not publish it again. If you submitted a story to one of our previous cat or dog book titles and we did not publish it, please do submit it to us again so we will be sure to consider it for one of these new titles.

Please remember, we no longer publish "as told to" stories. Write your story or poem in the first person. Do not ghostwrite a story for someone else unless you list that person as the author. If a story was previously published, we will probably not use it unless it ran in a small circulation venue. Let us know where the story was previously published and the approximate exposure it received in the "Comments" section of the submission form.

If your story is chosen, you will be a published author and your bio will be printed in the book if you so choose. You will also receive a check for $200 and 10 free copies of your book, worth more than $100. You will retain the copyright for your story and you will retain the right to resell it or self-publish it.

SUBMISSIONS GO TO OUR WEBSITE.

THE DEADLINE DATE FOR SUBMISSIONS FOR LIFE LESSONS FROM THE CAT IS OCTOBER 31, 2018.

THE DEADLINE DATE FOR SUBMISSIONS FOR LIFE LESSONS FROM THE DOG IS NOVEMBER 30, 2018.

Meeting this Saturday

NJCWG's Monthly Meeting

June 2, 10 am - 12 pm

Cornerstone Christian Church

in the Barn (second building on the right as you enter) 

495 Wyckoff Ave., Wyckoff

This Saturday, Susan will share information about connections and growing audience.

Whether you're an experienced writer or a wannabe, we welcome you,

Barbara

barbarahigbyhope.com

May's Focus Point

Blessed Repetition

In chapter 12, verse 12 of Ecclesiastes, the Teacher wrote, “Of making many books there is no end…” living in the digital age, we could expand that and say, “Of the writing of many words there is no end.”

I don’t know if Andre Gide ever read Ecclesiastes, but this quote could be taken as a response to that verse: “Everything has been said before. But since nobody listens we have to keep going back and beginning all over again.” (Andre Gide, Le Traite du Narcisse)

How many times have you heard a familiar message presented a different way and suddenly you got it? Or, how often have you spoken into a friend’s life to no avail and someone else comes along saying the same thing and it clicks?

I remember being discouraged because it seemed God was repeating a message to me over and over but I wasn’t changing. Unaware of my struggles, a sanguine friend (and we all need positive sanguines in our lives) was bubbling over with gratitude and said, “Isn’t it wonderful that God will keep repeating the same message until we get it?”

Prior to the Teacher’s comment about the abundance of books we find that it may not be as defeatist as it sounds. Read the verses right before it (9-11):

Not only was the Teacher wise, but also he imparted knowledge to the people. He pondered and searched out and set in order many proverbs. The Teacher searched to find just the right words, and what he wrote was upright and true. The words of the wise are like goads, their collected sayings like firmly embedded nails — given by one Shepherd.

• He searched to find just the right words, 
• Writing what was upright and true 
• And his words were like goads, firmly embedded nails. 

Take home thought: “Of making many books there is no end…” (Eccl. 12:12) and I will add mine to the count, searching for just the right words—upright and true words—to prod my readers to stand firm in their faith.

Submission opportunity

Miracles Do Happen A Guideposts Compilation NOTE: Do not reply or send submissions to this email address. Send all submissions to Jeanette Littleton at compilations@earthlink.net. James Stuart Bell is putting together this compilation for Guideposts. It is a separate book from his other current callout for Heaven Sightings for Bethany House. Jeanette said this book requires a quicker turnaround, so get your submissions in as soon as possible to be considered for the Guideposts book. The deadline is not fixed. See "rolling due date" info below.   From James Stuart Bell: Dear Contributor, You may recall my role as editor for story collections such as: A Cup of Comfort, Extraordinary Answers to Prayer, and a number of books related to Angels, Miracles, and Heavenly Encounters, published by Bethany House.  I am now helping to compile a story volume for Guideposts entitled Miracles Do Happen.  I have added a summary of the subject matter by chapters with additional considerations at the end of this letter.  Chapters three through ten comprise the story categories of the book from which you can choose.  These stories must have at their heart a true miracle, something that simply cannot happen by natural means.  (See guidelines and considerations below.) We’ll consider original, unpublished stories of up to 1,500 words and they must be at least 900 words.  The stories should have a creative title, an attention-grabbing introduction, main body with a conflict or challenge, and a clear, satisfying resolution.  They need to be descriptive, rooted in time and place, with a realistic portrayal of the characters involved. They also need to be substantive stories rather than mere testimonies or teachings, and the focus should not be just on the supernatural realm alone, but rather the spiritual lesson learned.  Please include a personal biography of 30 words or less at the end of each manuscript. We will have a rolling due date for the manuscript until we receive our quota of stories but would appreciate your submission within a month of receiving this email.  Please send your manuscript attached to the e-mail rather than pasting text in the email window.  Send your manuscript in normal manuscript formatting in Times New Roman, 12-point, with your full contact information--name, address, phone number, and e-mail address at the top of the first page.  We are offering a one-time fee of $50 for stories 1,250 words and over, and $25 for stories under that word count.                             We will send you contracts upon the publisher’s acceptance and would need them back promptly.  Payment will be made after all contracts have been received.  Please direct all inquiries and manuscript submissions to my colleague, Jeanette Littleton, at compilations@earthlink.net.  If this e-mail has been forwarded to you, and you can’t submit to this call, but would like to hear about other editorial needs as they arise, please send us your e-mail address and we’ll add you to our notification list. If you have a specific chapter you think your manuscript fits, please note that in the manuscript—near your contact information. Blessings to you and yours, James Stuart Bell Story Descriptions, Guidelines, and Considerations:   Chapter 3 – Nature and Animals          Stories: miracles involving nature and animals Chapter 4 – Children          Stories: miracles involving children Chapter 5 – Dreams and Visions          Stories: dreams and visions Chapter 6 – Healing          Stories: physical and emotional healing Chapter 7 – At the Right Moment          Stories: coincidence, divine providence, timing, just in the nick of time Chapter 8 – Spiritual Growth          Stories: awakening, reawakening, conversion Chapter 9 – Prosperity          Stories:  financial, money matters Chapter 10 – Answered Prayers          Stories: miscellaneous Story Guidelines: First person experience of a miraculous encounter or event Amazing and miraculous, as opposed to a gentle, inner nudge Must express a Christian connection and worldview; no preaching Experience should be grounded in a real-life situation: physical setting, time, place, context of the person’s life Must not have been previously published Miscellaneous Considerations: The wonder of a miracle is that its cause is hidden. Against all odds Soul-stirring accounts that reassure the reader that God is watching over them. Give reader hope that a miracle can happen to him or her Help the reader to look beyond what she or he experiences with the five senses to realize that God is holding him or her up. Ordinary people experiencing extraordinary events Protection from danger; sending in His angels Interceding when reader’s faith needs to be strengthened Cried out to God and received an answer Bolster and encourage faith Everyday people just like the reader experiencing miracles Includes biblical references and useful prayers For updates you can also join us at https://www.facebook.com/groups/993320770756877/

Submission Opportunity with agent Cyle Young

Cyle Young, an agent with Harline Literary Agency, is seeking new submissions:

Send me your best submissions. :)

My team is having an open submission period from May1st-June 30th. Send you submissions to submissions@cyleyoung.com We are looking for children's, MG, YA, and adult audience books for the general and Christian markets. Both nonfiction and fiction accepted. We look forward to reading your submission. Thanks! CYLE

Copyright © 2018 Serious Writer, All rights reserved. Our mailing address is: Serious Writer P.O. Box 1 Clarklake, Mi 49234

Meeting this Saturday

NJCWG Monthly Meeting

May 5

10 am - 12 pm

Cornerstone Christian Church

in the Barn (second building on the right as you enter) 

495 Wyckoff Ave., Wyckoff

A gathering of writers of any genre and experience, and writer wannabes.

Hope to see you Saturday,

Barbara

barbarahigbyhope.com

April's Focus Point:

Clear Answers Require Work

No one around this table will deny writing is work. It may be glamorized as brilliant inspiration flowing from mind, through fingers, to keyboard, and, voila—bestselling pages appear. But we know perspiration is a larger component than inspiration. As I considered 1 Peter 3:15 this week, I found a key reason why we labor over our writing:

Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks 

you to give the reason for the hope that you have. (NIV) 

Christian writing offers reasons for hope. Our blogs encourage belief, our fiction portrays examples of living life well, our articles encourage readers to draw near to God. In all our writing—whether expository, entertaining, poetic, informative or humorous—Christians offer a path to hope because we know the Source of hope.

The first part of this verse, “Always be prepared to give an answer” is the reason for our endless editing, tedious research, and painful rewriting. We don’t recklessly put words on paper, we labor to make those words understandable and palatable for our readers, presenting clear answers for the hope we have.

Today we will be looking at clunky sentences and overused adjectives. Why? Why spend time doing this? Because we want to write as clearly and concisely as possible, so our words will be readily received.

Take home thought: Preparation is worth the work because it enables us to offer hope to our readers.

Meeting - Change of Date Reminder

NOTE:

This month, the NJCWG will meet on 

the SECOND Saturday of the month instead of the first. 

MEETING:

Date: Sat. April 14

Time: 10 am - 12 pm

Same place:

The Barn at Cornerstone Christian Church

495 Wyckoff Ave.

Wyckoff, NJ 

Looking forward to seeing you there!

NJCWG News

Two of our members won recognition at St. Catherine of Bologna's Annual Photography, Art & Poetry Exhibition in Ringwood this weekend.

• Kathy Rupff won the Spirituality Award for her poem, "Your Love Heals Me." Additionally, she won the Judge's Choice Art Award for her painting, Transformation, and first place in Art-Mixed Media for her collage, Aslan. Her work can be viewed at www.kathleenrupff.com. 

• Maude Carolan Pych won the Judge's Choice Award for her Purim poem, "Queen Esther, Brave & Beautiful." Read her poem here.

Maude's recently published book of poems Wonderhoods is now available. Ordering information can be found on her website.

Susan Panzica's young adult allegory, The Quest, has just been published and will soon be available on her website at susanpanzica.com.

APRIL MEETING CHANGE: We will meet on the 14th - the second Saturday, not the usual first Saturday of the month. Time & location are the same but we will meet on the second floor (enter door closest to the parking lot). 

Meeting this Saturday

March 4, 10 am - noon

Cornerstone Christian Church, Wyckoff,

in the Barn (red building to the right after entering)

Saturday's topic:

GENRE

Image compliments of edla519michellemoulton.weebly.com

Genres are comfortable and challenging. They carry freedom and limitations. Join the conversation about stretching our areas of expertise. Please bring a recent copy of The Christian Writers Market Guide, if possible, and at least one suggestion for submission to a periodical, contest, or anthology (other than Chicken Soup). 

Seasoned writers and writing hopefuls are all welcome.

Hope to see you Saturday,
Barbara
barbarahigbyhope.com

February's Focus Point

The Point Is… In a Nutshell… Finally…

Today we will talk about aphorisms, those clever statements that speak volumes with a modicum of words. I had fun looking through New Testament letters to discover the use of what can be considered aphorisms, though I never thought of it that way before. They are not the author’s last words but fall near the ends of the letters and concisely summarize what the writer had more fully explained earlier. This is what I found:

“Finally, …rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace.” (2 Cor 13:11)

“Finally, let no one cause me trouble, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus.” (Gal. 6:17)

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.” (Eph. 6:10-11)

“Finally, my brothers, rejoice in the Lord! It is no trouble for me to write the same things to you again, and it is a safeguard for you.” (Phil. 3:1)

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Phil. 4:8)

“Finally, brothers, we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more.” (1 Thess. 4:1)

“Finally, brothers, pray for us that the message of the Lord may spread rapidly and be honored, just as it was with you.” (2 Thess. 3:1)

“Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.” (1 Pet. 3:8)

Take home thought: Be concise, clever and creative to present a memorable nugget of inspiration.

Story Callout

Heaven Sightings

From James Stuart Bell:
 

You may recall my role as editor for story collections such as: A Cup of Comfort, Extraordinary Answers to Prayer, Love is a Verb, and a number of books related to Angels, Miracles, and Heavenly Encounters.  I am now compiling a story volume for Bethany House Publishers with a working title of Heaven Sightings: Angels, Miracles, and Glimpses of the Afterlife.  In the past six “supernatural story” volumes I have compiled the focus has been on events and circumstances that had a supernatural element demonstrating God’s power.  In this volume I want you, the writer, to share how there are actually real slices of heaven in this life.  It’s not the wonderful natural phenomena we experience but the supernatural happenings that take place from time to time as God so designates. Heaven really does touch earth, as alluded to in one of my earlier titles.  Heaven plants itself here in the form of miracles, angels, and even near-death experiences.  We find it also displayed in dramatic healings and gigantic answers to prayer where nothing else can account for it.  This volume will contain a rich mixture of these stories.  I am especially looking forward to experiences of heaven itself, primarily found in near-death encounters with angels and the afterlife. We’ll consider original, unpublished stories of up to 2,000 words and they must be at least 1,000 words.  The stories should have a creative title, an attention-grabbing introduction, main body with a conflict or challenge, and a clear, satisfying resolution.  They need to be descriptive, rooted in time and place, with a realistic portrayal of the characters involved. They also need to be substantive stories rather than mere testimonies or teachings, and the focus should not be just on the supernatural realm alone, but rather the spiritual lesson learned.  Please include a personal biography of 30 words or less at the end of each manuscript. We will have a rolling due date for the manuscript until we receive our quota of stories but would appreciate your submission within a month of receiving this email.  Please send your manuscript attached to the e-mail rather than pasting text in the email window.  Send your manuscript in normal manuscript formatting in Times New Roman, 12-point, with your full contact information--name, address, phone number, and e-mail address at the top of the first page.  We are offering a one-time fee of $50 for stories 1,500 words and over, and $25 for stories under that word count.                           We will send you contracts upon the publisher’s acceptance and would need them back promptly.  Payment will be made after all contracts have been received.  Please direct all inquiries and manuscript submissions to my colleague, Jeanette Littleton, at supernaturalstories2@earthlink.net.  If this e-mail has been forwarded to you, and you can’t submit to this call, but would like to hear about other editorial needs as they arise, please send us your e-mail address and we’ll add you to our notification list. Blessings to you and yours, James Stuart Bell For updates you can also join us at https://www.facebook.com/groups/993320770756877/

Meeting this Saturday

February 3, 10 am - noon

Cornerstone Christian Church, Wyckoff

in the Barn (red building on your right as you enter)

Saturday's focus:

The Point Is… In a Nutshell… Finally…

Image compliments of Zazzle.com

How aphorisms add clarity, define purpose, and assist memory.

aph·o·rism \ˈa-fə-ˌri-zəm 

Bring one or two writing samples, such as a blog post, for our discussion of aphorisms and their value.

Our group encourages experienced and novice writers. You are invited to check it out and see if it's a fit for your needs. 

I hope to see you Saturday,

Barbara barbarahigbyhope.com

January's Focus Point

Joy in Writing

When I was a child I learned the secret of joy in the form of an anagram—J-O-Y: Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last. But long before it was contrived as a cute anagram, Jesus spoke it as profound truth. Quoting from Deuteronomy, He said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, Love your neighbor as yourself.”

This sure-formula for joy in life, also gives us joy in writing.

God first. Every creative thought, sudden illumination, and golden truth we discover is not original, but comes from God. It is His call, His gift, His message, and His inspiration that speaks to our hearts and draws us to our keyboards. When we are mindful of that, we are focused, motivated and energized—we have purpose that transcends personal recognition, a meaningful hobby, or hopes of a paycheck.

Secondly, think of others. How often are we reminded to think “reader first?” If we’re not writing for readers, we can simply journal. Journaling is easy, communicating is work, but love for others will incite us to action. It will propel us to take the time and make the effort to write, and write well for the benefit of our readers.

The third aspect of the equation is you. The fulfillment, satisfaction and—yes—joy that is ours when God is first and others are second cannot be found any other way. When I put myself first, I never have enough, am not good enough, and can’t be satisfied. The biblical order is the way to fulfillment.

When I respond to God’s inspiration and use His gifts to bless my readers, I experience joy in writing.

Take home thought: When it comes to writing, glorifying God is my reason, enriching others is my goal, and joy is my reward.