Yorktown Mentor Clinic - Cecil Murphey

Cecil Murphey at the Yorktown mentor clinic.

What a week! I learned more in four days that I could imagine learning in a month elsewhere. NJCWG members can hear all about the clinic at our next meeting - Monday, March 27.

Over the next few days I will post more photos and some valuable bits of info gleaned from those at the clinic.

Cec's Mentor Clinic

This is Rev Peter Lundell who is the pastor of a multi-cultural church in southern California.

Mentor Clinic

Tomorrow I leave for Cecil Murphey's mentor clinic in Yorktown, VA. You won't see any posts to the blog until I get back next week! Keep me in your prayers.

Louise Bergmann DuMont
www.louisedumont.com

William Paterson Writers Conference

Edward Hower & Alison Lurie

ANNOUNCEMENT

William Paterson is pleased to announce that they will again host a Spring Writers Conference.

The keynote speakers this year are the award-winning authors Alison Lurie and Edward Hower.

For more information go to:
http://euphrates.wpunj.edu/faculty/parrasj/Conference/WritersConferenceMain.htm

Tonight - Cancelled

NO NJCWG MEETING
MONDAY, March 13, 2006
Unfortunately, something's come up and I need to cancel tonight's meeting.
Our next meeting will be March 27, 2006.
NEXT MEETING
Monday March 27, 2006
6:15-7:00 Chat Time
7:00-8:00 Teaching
8:00-9:00 critiques
Louise Bergmann DuMont
Facilitator NJCWG
http://www.louisedumont.com/

2006 A Reason To Write Conference

The North Jersey Christian Writers Group

is pleased to sponsor a

SPECIAL

one day event

2006 A Reason to Write Conference

May 13, 2006.

Guest Speaker Cecil "Cec" Murphey

~~~~~

About Cecil Murphey

~~~~~

Cecil Murphey (http://www.cecilmurphey.com/index.html) is one of the most noted ghost writers of inspirational nonfiction in the CBA. One of Cec's latest books, 90 Minutes in Heaven (by Don Piper w/Cecil Murphey) sold over 400,000 copies and is listed on the Barnes and Nobel Top 100 list. It is also #5 on the WalMart Book List. Cec also wrote I Choose to Stay: A Black Teacher Refuses To Desert the Inner City (by Salome Thomas-EL with Cecil Murphey) which is being made into a Disney movie tentatively titled The Great Bishops.

Cecil Murphey is an award-winning author (http://www.cecilmurphey.com/awards.html) who will be teaching a full-day of classes in North Jersey. The majority of the costs for this conference are being covered by generous benefactors.

~~~~~

May 13, 2006

A Reason To Write Conference
Conference Location: Ringwood Baptist Church,
30 Carletondale Road, Ringwood, NJ

Cost per attendee -- ONLY $30.00
(This includes four classes & lunch)

For more information contact the NJCWG Facilitator, Louise Bergmann DuMont at njcwg.dumont@gmail.com

CONFERENCE CLASSES

(taught by Cec Murphey)

1. Six Professional Secrets. These six factors mark the difference between want-to-publish and those who become professional writers. Follow them and move out of the amateur level.

2. Sell the Truth—Write Nonfiction. Nonfiction books outsell fiction and usually have a longer shelf life. You’ll learn the two absolutes of good nonfiction, how to incorporate fiction techniques, where to get ideas, how to grab readers’ attention, help on outlining your manuscript. Murphey offers inside information on editors, agents, and the publishing industry today. You’ll learn how to sell your book and what you need to do to promote your book.

3. The Interview: Asking and Active Listening. How do you prepare for the interview? How do you start an interview? What is active listening? What are the three crucial questions to ask? How important is empathy? What’s the one question not to ask?

4. The Self-disciplined Writer. How does individual personality affect self-discipline? How do you get more disciplined? Most important, how to link self-discipline with your personality type.

If you live in the NewYork/New Jersey/Pennsylvania area,

this is one conference you won't want to miss!

CANCELED - Mtg 3/13/06

NO NJCWG MEETING
MONDAY, March 13, 2006

Unfortunately, something's come up and I need to cancel Monday's meeting.
Our next meeting will be March 27, 2006.

NEXT MEETING
Monday, March 27, 2006
6:15-7:00 Chat Time
7:00-8:00 Teaching
8:00-9:00 critiques


Louise Bergmann DuMont
Facilitator NJCWG
www.louisedumont.com

Writing Op - $150.00/story - Integrity House

From: Jessica Inman

Mark Gilroy is facilitating a new compilation project for Integrity House, and we’re looking for your true stories.

We need true stories that depict grace giving, falling within the following topics: Knowing How Much We’ve Been Forgiven; Seeing Others the Same Way God Does; Giving from the Heart and Laying Down Our Lives for Others; Experiencing--and Participating in---Miracles; Changing the World; Being Blessed as We Bless Others.

First-person is strongly preferred, though third-person will be considered as well.

Please note: We need these stories to stay centered on action and events, and we'd really encourage you to keep your "great story" antennae up and tell others' stories in first-person as-told-to format.

Stories should fall in the 500-1000 word range, and if possible, we'd like a quote and Scripture verse with each (neither of which would count toward the word count).

Payment will be a one-time $150 for non-exclusive rights.

Stories should be submitted before May 1, 2006.

To submit, send to jessica@markgilroy.com either as an attachment or pasted into the body of an e-mail.

Art/Poetry Exhibit - 3/10,11,12

ONLY TWO MORE DAYS!

Maude Carolan will be reading on Saturday!

7th Annual Photo, Art & Poetry Exhibition
March 10, 11 & 12, 2006
Sponsored by the St. Catherine of Bologna - Patron of the Arts Assoc.Place: St. Catherine of Bologna Parish Center, 112 Erskine Road, Ringwood, NJ
For information, go to: www.saintcatherinephotoart.com or call David J. Nocera, exhibition coordinator at (973) 962-0563

New Issue of The Writer

Articles, information and encouragement for every writer.
Subscribe to THE WRITER today.

"Every issue of THE WRITER will help you become the writer you've always wanted to be! You'll get practical, step-by-step solutions to common writing problems from experienced writing professionals like David McCullough, Sue Grafton, and Janet Evanovich, the latest tips from agents and editors, and more for fiction writers than ever before!

Plus, as your FREE GIFT for subscribing, you'll receive Get Published. This 16-page booklet is full of expert tips on how to succeed with nonfiction and fiction articles and books. It's nuts-and-bolts advice on getting story ideas, writing the perfect query letter, finding an agent and more!"

To Subscribe Today - Click Here

Copyright Article

The Dabbling Mum (Alyice Edrich) has a number of excellent articles on her website. One is about copyright laws - something every author needs to read. Check them out!
http://thedabblingmum.com/copyrights.htm

Free Images Website

Some of you have mentioned the need for photos to accompany your manuscripts. I recently stumbled upon a GREAT site. No copyright enfringement and every photo is FREE!

http://www.morguefile.com

Newspapers refer to their article and photo archives and the "morgue" and this site (a morgue of photos) contains thousands, maybe millions, of photos that are FREE.

Keep in mind that photos, like manuscripts, can not be reproduced without permission. Every photo on www.morguefile.com is in the public domain! Great news!

The Spirit Led Writer is Back!

http://www.spiritledwriter.com/
The Spirit Led Writers is back online! Check out the articles and opportunities there.

Art/Poetry Exhibition - March 10,11&12

Our own Maude Carolan will be reading at this exhibition!

7th Annual Photo, Art & Poetry Exhibition
March 10, 11 & 12, 2006
Sponsored by the St. Catherine of Bologna - Patron of the Arts Assoc.Place: St. Catherine of Bologna Parish Center, 112 Erskine Road, Ringwood, NJ
For information, go to: www.saintcatherinephotoart.com or call David J. Nocera, exhibition coordinator at (973) 962-0563

New Magazine - Wondertime

For a sneak-peek go to: http://wondertime.go.com/index.html

DAVID MEVORAH and LISA STIEPOCK were appointed to the newly-created positions of publisher and editor, respectively, of WONDERTIME magazine, a parenting magazine slated to launch in early 2006.

Wondertime is a new magazine dedicated to helping parents nurture their children’s love of learning. A blend of how and why, Wondertime inspires moms of infants through 6-year-olds to see the world through the eyes of their children, and to celebrate the wonder of this all-too-fleeting time.

Wondertime mixes playful activities and everyday adventures with compelling insights into the fascinating ways children develop physically, socially, intellectually, creatively, and emotionally. We hereby give moms permission to revel in the simple joys of raising a child, and to view the world as their children do — as an awe-inspiring place.

No writers guidelines available at this time.

Writing Op - Victory in Grace

Victory In Grace exists to clearly share the message of God’s grace to those who do not believe and to draw believers into a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ by encouraging a daily walk and involvement in their local church. Victory In Grace is a ministry of the radio and television broadcasts of Dr. James A. Scudder.
To read their writers guidelines go to: http://www.victoryingrace.org/Default.aspx?tabid=55

Writing Articles

Are you looking for a place where you can read dozens and dozens of articles on writing for every market and genre? Check some of these out on Freelanewriting.com
http://www.freelancewriting.com/content/browse-articles-2-1.html

National Read Across America Day

CELEBRATE!!!
Today is Read Across America Day
sponsored by the National Education Association

Originally created as a one-day event to celebrate the joy of reading on March 2, Dr. Seuss's birthday, NEA's Read Across America has grown into a nationwide initiative that promotes reading every day of the year.
For more information go to: http://www.nea.org/readacross/index.html

ISBN to EAN???

Have you ever wondered about ISBN numbers?
Well, wonder no more. I've attached a link to a great article about both ISBN numbers and the new Bookland EAN numbers. For those of you who don't know about this yet, the ISBN is moving to the EAN numbering system.

When get to the link below, scroll down to Article #10.

http://www.ciecatrunpubs.com/

TONIGHT

TONIGHT

REMINDER - REMINDER - REMINDER - REMINDER

Monday, February 27, 2006

NJCWG Quarterly WORKSHOP

Begins at 6:00 pm
Ends at 9:00 pm

Write, critqiue, rewrite, critique sessions

To get the most out of these session, be sure to review the handouts from the last two meetings - located in previous blog posts.

BRING: Paper, Writing Implements (pens/pencils/etc) and Every Ounce of Creativity You Can Muster

Cec Murphey's Classes-May 13

The North Jersey Christian Writers Group

is pleased to sponsor a

SPECIAL

one day
2006 A Reason to Write Conference

on
May 13, 2006.

Guest Speaker Cecil "Cec" Murphey

~~~~~

About Cecil Murphey

~~~~~

Cecil Murphey (http://www.cecilmurphey.com/index.html) is one of the most noted ghost writers of inspirational nonfiction in the CBA. One of Cec's latest books, 90 Minutes in Heaven (by Don Piper w/Cecil Murphey) sold over 400,000 copies and is listed on the Barnes and Nobel Top 100 list. It is also #5 on the WalMart Book List. Cec also wrote I Choose to Stay: A Black Teacher Refuses To Desert the Inner City (by Salome Thomas-EL with Cecil Murphey) which is being made into a Disney movie tentatively titled The Great Bishops.

Cecil Murphey is an award-winning author (http://www.cecilmurphey.com/awards.html) who will be teaching a full-day of classes in North Jersey. The majority of the costs for this conference are being covered by generous benefactors.

~~~~~

May 13, 2006

A Reason To Write Conference
Conference Location: Ringwood Baptist Church,
30 Carletondale Road, Ringwood, NJ

Cost per attendee -- ONLY $30.00
(This includes four classes & lunch)

For more information contact the NJCWG Facilitator, Louise Bergmann DuMont at njcwg.dumont@gmail.com

CONFERENCE CLASSES

(taught by Cec Murphey)

1. Six Professional Secrets. These six factors mark the difference between want-to-publish and those who become professional writers. Follow them and move out of the amateur level.

2. Sell the Truth—Write Nonfiction. Nonfiction books outsell fiction and usually have a longer shelf life. You’ll learn the two absolutes of good nonfiction, how to incorporate fiction techniques, where to get ideas, how to grab readers’ attention, help on outlining your manuscript. Murphey offers inside information on editors, agents, and the publishing industry today. You’ll learn how to sell your book and what you need to do to promote your book.

3. The Interview: Asking and Active Listening. How do you prepare for the interview? How do you start an interview? What is active listening? What are the three crucial questions to ask? How important is empathy? What’s the one question not to ask?

4. The Self-disciplined Writer. How does individual personality affect self-discipline? How do you get more disciplined? Most important, how to link self-discipline with your personality type.

If you live in the NewYork/New Jersey/Pennsylvania area,

this is one conference you won't want to miss!

7th Annual Photo, Art & Poetry Exhibition

7th Annual Photo, Art & Poetry Exhibition
March 10, 11 & 12, 2006
Sponsored by the St. Catherine of Bologna - Patron of the Arts Assoc.Place: St. Catherine of Bologna Parish Center, 112 Erskine Road, Ringwood, NJ
For information, go to: www.saintcatherinephotoart.com or call David J. Nocera, exhibition coordinator at (973) 962-0563

REMINDER - NJCWG WORKSHOP

REMINDER - REMINDER - REMINDER - REMINDER

Monday, February 27, 2006

NJCWG Quarterly WORKSHOP

Begins at 6:00 pm
Ends at 9:00 pm

Write, critqiue, rewrite, critique sessions

To get the most out of these session, be sure to review the handouts from the last two meetings - located in previous blog posts.

BRING: Paper, Writing Implements (pens/pencils/etc) and Every Ounce of Creativity You Can Muster

FREE Business Cards - One More Time

Vista Print is once again offering 250 FREE business cards. The quality is excellent and your choice of artwork for the free cards is also very good (obviously if you pay for the cards you get even more options).

Yes, there is a catch. On the back of your FREE cards (in a very small font) Vista Print offers their website. You must also pay shipping charges to have the cards delivered, but shipping isn't much.

Go to the following website to see their options. You can create your business card and place your order right on line. No, I don't get anything for letting you know about this. If you have any questions though, you can drop me an email. I buy my card through Vista Print and I've also purchased postcards, bussiness card magnets, calendars, and note cards from them.
My email: njcwg.dumont@gmail.com

Vista Print "special" link to get FREEE business cards.
http://www.vistaprint.com/vp/ns/studio.aspx?icparts=yes&cfs=-1&pf_id=064&combo_id=4298&combo1=904.100.18.11339113391370&gallery_id=53

Writing Op - Guideposts for Teens

NEW MAGAZINE -- GUIDEPOSTS SWEET 16
(Guideposts for Teens... is no more...)
Guideposts Sweet 16
1050 Broadway
Suite 6
Chesterton, IN 46304
Submission Email: writers@sweet16mag.com
Magazine Website: http://www.guidepostssweet16mag.com/contactus.html

For Writers' Guidelines go to: http://www.guidepostssweet16mag.com/guidelines.html

Writing Op - Brave Hearts Mag

BRAVE HEARTS
Brave Hearts Editorial
1503 SW 42nd St.
Topeka, KS 66609
www.braveheartsmagazine.com

Description: BRAVE HEARTS is a quarterly magazine from Ogden Publications. The magazine is written by and for ordinary people who have an inspirational message to share. BRAVE HEARTS seeks short manuscripts (up to 900 words), photographs, prayers, and related material on special inspirational subjects for each issue. A nominal payment of $5 to $12 is made upon publication. An additional payment of $2 is made for each item used on our Web site.

Frequency: Quarterly
Circulation: 2,000
Queries: Does Not Accept Queries
Manuscripts: DOES Accept Unsolicited Manuscript Submissions
Submission formats: Hard copy Only - no email, no fax.
Material should be submitted at least six months in advance of publication. Notification of acceptance or rejection will be made within approximately six months of receipt.
Response: 3-6 months.
Freelance content: 100%
Rights: Purchases All Rights to the items used. No simultaneous submissions are accepted. No e-mail submissions accepted.
Payment: On publication

Tips: “Our magazine is geared to inspire people each time they open it, to make them smile. We’re looking for articles that tug at the heart, that have a message to impart, that are inspiring and inspirational. Avoid sappy, maudlin or overly religious pieces, or illness-of-the week type of stories.”

Writing Op - A Cup of Comfort for SPIRITUALITY

A CUP OF COMFORT FOR SPIRITUALITY
Adams Media Corp.
57 Littlefield
St.Avon, MA 02322
cupofcomfort@adamsmedia.com
www.cupofcomfort.com
Description: Submit creative nonfiction anecdotal stories; 1,000-2,000 words. Soulful true stories about positive spiritual experiences and relationships--such as gifts/lessons of spiritual teachers/mentors; discovering a spiritual path, divine truth, or kindred spirit; receiving and actualizing (putting into positive action) a spiritual lession; miracles; epiphanies; divine intervention and direction; evidence of a higher spirit; awakening/deepening one’s inner spirit; enlightening, life-defining, life-changing spiritual experiences. All benevolent spiritual paths and religions welcome.
Deadline: December 31, 2006
Prize: Publication; $500; $100; complimentary copy of book

Writing Op - A Cup of Comfort for LOVE

A CUP OF COMFORT FOR LOVE
Adams Media Corp.
57 Littlefield St.
Avon, MA 02322
cupofcomfort@adamsmedia.com
www.cupofcomfort.com
Description: Submit creative nonfiction anecdotal stories; 1,000-2,000 words. Real-life romantic “love stories” for/about couples, lovers, soul mates--including puppy love; true love; new love; enduring love; first love; unrequited love; the love of one’s life; mature love; rekindled love; friends become lovers; unique engagement, wedding, anniversary experiences; turning points and milestones in a marriage/partnership; defining moments and “aha” moments that spark, shape, or strengthen a love relationship
Deadline: August 1, 2006
Prize: Publication; $500; $100; complimentary copy of book

Writing Op - Cup of Comfort for FAITH

A CUP OF COMFORT FOR FAITH
Adams Media Corp.
57 Littlefield St.
Avon, MA 02322
cupofcomfort@adamsmedia.com
www.cupofcomfort.com
Description: Submit creative nonfiction anecdotal stories; 1,000-2,000 words. Inspirational true stories and testimonials of the power of faith, such as answers to prayers; evidence of God’s holy grace; miracles; divine intervention; affirmation of religious teachings/scriptures in daily life; finding or reclaiming one’s faith. Traditional religions only.
Deadline: July 1, 2006
Prize: Publication; $500; $100; complimentary copy of book
Entry: November 1-March 17

Writing Op - New Jersey Monthly

NEW JERSEY MONTHLY
The Magazine of the Garden State
New Jersey Monthly, LLC
55 Park Place
P.O. Box 920
Morristown NJ 07963-0920
Phone: (973)539-8230
Fax: (973)538-2953
E-Mail: editor@njmonthly.com
Website: www.njmonthly.com

Contact: Christopher Hann, senior editor
About NEW JERSEY MONTHLY: Magazine covering "just about anything to do with New Jersey, from news, politics, and sports to decorating trends and lifestyle issues. Our readership is well-educated, affluent, and on average our readers have lived in New Jersey 20 years or more."
Frequency: Monthly
Editor's Note: This magazine continues to look for strong investigative reporters with novelistic style and solid knowledge of New Jersey issues.

Freelance Facts:
75-80% freelance written
Established: 1976
Circulation: 95,000
Pays on completion of fact-checking.
Publishes manuscript 3 months after acceptance.
Byline given.
Offers 20% kill fee.
Rights purchased:
 First North American serial rights
Editorial lead time 3 months.
Submit seasonal material 6 months in advance.
Accepts queries by: Mail, E-mail, Fax, Phone
Accepts simultaneous submissions
Responds in 2 months to queries.

Nonfiction:
Needs: Book excerpts, Essays, Exposé, General Interest, Historical, Humor, Interview/Profile, Personal Experience, Photo Feature, Travel (within New Jersey), arts, sports, politics
Does Not Want: "No experience pieces from people who used to live in New Jersey or general pieces that have no New Jersey angle."
Buys 90-100 manuscripts/year.
Submission method: Query with published magazine clips and SASE.
Length: 800–3,000 words.
Pays $750-2,500.
Pays reasonable expenses of writers on assignment with prior approval.

Columns & Departments:
Columns open to freelancers: Exit Ramp (back page essay usually originating from personal experience but written in a way that tells a broader story of statewide interest), 1,200 words.
Buys 12 columns/year.
Submission method: Query with published clips
Pays $400.

Fillers:
Needs: Anecdotes (for front-of-book)
Buys 12-15 fillers/year.
Length: 200–250 words.
Pays: $100

Tips: "The best approach: Do your homework! Read the past year's issues to get an understanding of our well-written, well-researched articles that tell a tale from a well-established point of view.

Writing Op - Modernism Magazine

MODERNISM MAGAZINE
333 N. Main St.
Lambertville NJ 08530
Phone: (609)397-4104
Fax: (609)397-4409
E-Mail: andrea@modernismmagazine.com
Website: www.modernismmagazine.com

Publisher: David Rago
Contact:
Andrea Truppin, editor-in-chief
About MODERNISM MAGAZINE: Magazine covering 20th century art and design.
Frequency: Quarterly

"We are interested in objects and the people who created them. Our coverage begins in the 1920s with Art Deco and related movements, and ends with 1980s Post-Modernism, leaving contemporary design to other magazines. Our emphasis is on the decorative arts--furniture, pottery, glass, textiles, metalwork, and so on--but we're moving toward more coverage of interiors."

Freelance Facts:
70% freelance written
Established: 1998
Circulation: 20,000
Pays on publication
Publishes manuscript 4 months after acceptance.
Byline given.
Offers 25% kill fee.
All rights
Editorial lead time 6 months.
Submit seasonal material 6 months in advance.
Accepts queries by: Mail, E-mail, Fax
Accepts simultaneous submissions
Accepts previously published submissions
Responds in 1 month to queries.
Sample copy for $6.95.
Writer's guidelines free

Nonfiction:
Needs:
Book excerpts
Essays
Historical
Interview/Profile
New Product
Photo Feature
"No first-person."
Buys 20 manuscripts/year.
Submission method: Query with published clips
Length: 2,000–2,500 words.
Pays $400.
Does not pay the expenses of writers on assignment.
Reprints: Accepts previously published submissions.

Photos:
State availability of or send photos with submission.
Reviews: Contact sheets, Transparencies, prints
Photos Require: Captions, Identification of subjects
Buys one-time rights
Negotiates payment individually

Tips:
"Articles should be well researched, carefully reported, and directed at a popular audience with a special interest in the Modernist movement. Please don't assume readers have prior familiarity with your subject; be sure to tell us the who, what, why, when, and how of whatever you're discussing."

Industry News

On Monday Simon and Schuster acquired Howard Publishing. You can read the official release at:
http://terrywhalin.blogspot.com/2006/02/simon-schuster-acquires-howard.html

Simon & Shuster is one of the six largest publishers in the world.

Industry News

Hallmark has announced that it is planning to launch its own magazine later in 2006. "The as-yet-unnamed magazine is expected to focus on topics including food, home, and relationships."

Source: publications.mediapost.com

Writing Op - Katrina Stories

A fellow Christian writer was devestated by Hurricane Katrinia. He's putting together a book proposal of stories about how God helped those who survived this disaster. If you or someone you know was affected by this event, consider submitting a story. Guidelines below:

The Lord Is My Shepherd...
"Go home to your family and tell them how much the Lord has done for you..." -- Mark 5:19

If you want to share your story of survival and healing from Hurricane Katrina, don't hesitate! Write it up and send it in! In submitting your story, please adhere to the following guidelines:

Length: Stories should be between ten and twenty pages in length, single spaced, typed in 12 point Times New Roman or Courier New font.
Format: In addition to the length requirements, please submit your story in either MS Word "DOC" or Adobe Acrobat "PDF" file format. Please make sure file is scanned for viruses before you send it. If any viruses are detected on our end, the file and e-mail will be deleted. Thank you for understanding!
Originality: All work must be your original work. If any other sources are used, they must be quoted and disclosed.
Copyright: It pains us to have to include this, but we must. Since this book is not for the profit of any individual or group, in submitting your story you waive any copyright, fees, licenses, and entitlements to your work. However we agree not to use your work in any other form or fashion other than the stated purpose of "The Lord Is My Shepherd," nor will any of your information be released to any party without your explicit, written permission.
Pray! This may seem silly as a submission guideline, but we very much want this book to help others and be of benefit to them. Before submitting your story please pray over what you wrote and pray for the project as a whole. May God use this book to bring healing to those in need.

Show Vs. Tell Practice Exercises

Now Its Your Turn
Here are a few phrases for you to practice your "Showing Technique." If you aren't sure if you've got it yet, drop me an email and I'll be happy to help you throught it.
Louise Bergmann DuMont - njcwg.dumont@gmail.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Show Vs. Tell Practice Sentences

Workshop Preparation
by Louise Bergmann DuMont
2/13/06

~~~~~~~~~~~~

REVISE EACH SENTENCE TO BRING IT FROM TELLING TO SHOWING.

1. At first glance, the wrinkled paper seemed worthless.
2. The girl cried and cried, believing that she would never again be happy.
3. The button on the jacket popped off as he tried to button it.
4. The file folders were stuffed with papers and the file cabinet was stuffed with folders.
5. The garden was filled with flowers that contained every color of the rainbow.
6. The men laughed and joked like teenage boys.
7. The snow fell for nearly forty-eight hours.
8. The book’s pages were brown and smelled musty.

Show VS Tell Handouts

Here are the handouts from the NJCWG meeting of 2/13/06. I hope they clarify the Show Vs. Tell issue even more. I'll post again a little while providing you with a few addtional practice exercises.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Show, Don’t Tell Your Story
Workshop Preparation
by Louise Bergmann DuMont
2/13/06

Good writing is not about using big words...

Good writing is not about using more words...

Good writing IS about using words that soothe,

words that bite, words that entice words that motivate...

Good writing is about using the right words,

at the right time, and in the right way.

In this handout I’ve given you a few hints that will help you to turn telling writing into showing writing.

~~~~~~
HINT 1
Choose your verbs carefully.
Use verbs that accurately reflect the character’s personality and the action taking place.

If your character is a burly Vietnam vet he may or may not lumber down the street.

Think about these things. Is your character drunk? Did he put on a significant amount of weight after he got home from the war? How old is he now? Does your story take place right after his return from Nam or much later? If he’s a young guy who is in good physical condition he probably won’t lumber. He might sulk, he might bolt, he might saunter – but lumber implies a slowness that that comes from an inability to walk due to inebriation, overweight or physical defect. Now... even if the guy was in good physical condition but he was carrying his drunk friend over his shoulders, he may lumber.

Your verbs move the story forward. Choosing the right one can make the difference between a story that ‘pops’ with life or one that is ready for the morgue.

EXAMPLE
Notice the differences in these sentences. It’s all in the verbs.
Bob walked down the street.
Bob went down the street.
Bob moved on down the street.
Bob strutted down the street.
Bob ambled down the street.
Bob slunk down the street.
Bob lumbered down the street.
Bob shuffled down the street.
Bob meandered down the street.
Bob rushed down the street.
Bob sauntered down the street.
Bob strolled down the street.
Bob marched down the street.
Bob strode down the street.
Bob paced up and down the street.
Bob hiked down the street.
Bob tottered down the street.
Bob staggered down the street.

~~~~~~
HINT 2
Write using your five senses.

Pick senses that complement the circumstances of your scene and the personality of your characters. Applying a variety of senses to your scenes will keep your writing fresh and interesting. Applying the right senses to each scene will avoid awkward moments..

If our burly Vietnam vet (as per above example) arrives at a restaurant with his date you probably would not have him comment on the beautiful scent of the lilac bushes outside the restaurant door. If the scent of lilacs is an integral part of your story, you may have his date make a comment on lovely aroma, or you could have him note the almost sickeningly sweet smell. Notice that his date notices the lovely aroma but he smells the scent. Your choice of words unfolds the scene in a particular way. It allows us to SEE different aspects of the characters.

Here is an other hint – males are more visual and females more verbal. Be sure to at use those senses to describe environments related to their gender. A male’s secondary sense is touch and woman’s is scent. Both males and females can be intuitive but males are more likely to filter their ideas through practicality and women through emotion. This does not mean that males can not smell and verbalize or that female should never see or touch; but it is important that a writer use to their advantage the character’s primary senses.

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HINT 3
Never show simply for the sake of description.
Showing must bring the reader something significant. It must open up the character’s life or impart vital plot information. To show the reader a table spread with luscious desserts – no matter how artfully done – is meaningless unless the desserts are significant to the story. To share details of a character’s past only frustrates the reader unless it gives depth to a person we want to know and/or moves the plot forward.

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HINT 4
Don’t tell the reader what emotions are coming.

Let readers feel things for themselves. When you tell a reader what to feel, you rob them of the actual event
and you take them out of the story.

TELLING
In a totally unexpected move, Mary slapped her husband, turned on her heels and walked out.
SHOWING
The crack of her hand against his unshaven cheek burned its way into her palm. She turned on her heels, tears changing the soft blue-gray of her eyes into small beads of polished steel.

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HINT 5
Showing is about clarifying what you want to say.
When you tell (rather than show) you leave the reader unsure about what the author really meant.

EXAMPLE
The woman was impressed with the well-dressed man.

How impressed was the woman? What feelings did the well-dressed man inspire in her? How impressed was she? Would she have given him the job as a VP? Would she go out with him? Would she marry him? Was man well-dressed for a Caribbean cruise? Was he wearing a wool and cashmere suit? Were his clothes designer chic or pristinely pressed K-Mart?

Details help to make a story – just be sure to keep the details pertinent.

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HINT 6
Feel the action and play it out on the paper.
Telling catalogs action. Showing allows the reader to see the actions and the emotions contained in the event. It is the difference between a laundry list and the actual laundry.

TELLING
“Let’s Go.” Mary said impatiently
SHOWING
The click of Mary’s heels on the marble floor followed the snap of Mary fingers and a curt, “Let’s Go!”

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HINT 7
Showing is not JUST details.
A grocery list may give plenty of details about the items you want to purchase. It may give the brand, size, weight, color, flavor, etc. But a grocery list is still just a list telling us what to buy. Good writing shows us what the purchaser is feeling.

Grocery List (TELLING)
4 Large, Ripe, Chiquita Bananas
1 box Kellogg’s Special-K, Small Box
Coffee – Bed & Breakfast, Whole Bean

Quality Narrative (SHOWING)
The four plump bananas fairly begged to join the rich mixture of brown sugar and butter, in what would become my lover’s sweet birthday banana bread.

Special-K. I bought the small box, hating myself for second guessing the potential of this diet already. What was so ‘special’ about Special-K anyway? A bowl of soggy flakes that you drown in week old milk – nothing special about that.

Each gently roasted bean had been ground to a perfect course grain. The scalding hot water allowed precious oils to rise to the surface of the cup. I sipped it like ambrosia – the acidic bite popping my eyelids open and refreshing my weary soul.

NJCWG - Next Meeting

Next Meeting of the NJCWG
Tomorrow!
Monday, February 13, 2006
Ringwood Baptist Church
6:15-7:00 Chat Time
7:00-8:00 More... help with Show Vs. Tell
9:00-9:00 Critiques

Workshop
In Two Weeks
Monday, February 27, 2006
Ringwood Baptist Church
6:00-9:00
You won't want to miss this opportunity to hone your Show vs Tell Skills.

Writing Op - Women of Spirit

http://www.womenofspirit.com/home.php
Women of Spirit
E-mail: WomenofSpirit@rhpa.org
Women of Spirit
55 West Oak Ridge Drive
Hagerstown, MD 21740
Fax: 301-393-4055
Phone: 301-393-4125

Writer's Guidelines

We're happy you want to write for Women of Spirit, a magazine to inspire and disciple Christian women. Women of Spirit seeks to be a friend and mentor, stimulating spiritual vitality, nurturing emotional growth, fostering balanced, healthy living, and encouraging a loving Christian witness in the home and community.

To fulfill this mission, Women of Spirit seeks writers from a diversity of ethnic and cultural backgrounds who think creatively and seek God deeply. Though primarily targeting Seventh-day Adventist women, this magazine appeals to women of other faiths and therefore avoids using language and experiences not easily understood outside the Adventist arena. Women of Spirit aims to build a joyful sense of community among women and to affirm their place of service in the body of Christ. Women of Spirit welcomes you to share a piece of your heart.

Women of Spirit Needs: Stories, Devotionals/Spiritual Topics, How-to Articles, Personal Issues, Short Humor (500 Words), Poetry (Use very little), How I Share My Faith at Work (150 words), Spirited Life (500 Words), Manuscript Length (between 500 - 1,000 words)

Tips for Good Writing

• Keep your writing personal and conversational. Imagine that your reader is sitting right next to you.
• Make sure you have a solid beginning that hooks your audience into reading your article or story.
• Use strong action verbs.
• Your descriptions should enable your reader to see what you see as you write.
• Get rid of clichés.
• Include realistic dialogue in your story.
• Show, don't tell.
• Remember that truth is better than fiction.